« All I really need to know I learned in smoke-filled back rooms. » (apologies to Robert Fulghum)
0. *****Always accept grant money from Bill Gates.****
1. Test everything that moves (even the classroom goldfish)
2. Play with cut scores.
3. Don’t hit teachers (Just fire them)
4. Always leave things in more chaos than when you found them.
5. NEVER (EVER!!) CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
6. Never admit you are wrong and never (ever!) say you are sorry.
7. Wash your hands of everything that goes wrong.
8. Flush after each school closing.
9. VAMs and failings (students, teachers, schools) are good.
10. Unions and teacher independence and creativity in the classroom are bad.
11. Mandate a Fair and Balanced (TM) curriculum – teaching some Common Core math and some close reading and never (ever) allowing students to draw or paint or sing or dance or play or go out…
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